From the Heart of an Angel Mom
Our Baby Everest went to be with Jesus. . .
Everyone experiences loss and grief so differently. One second your loved one is with you, and then, they are not.
Everyone hears about their own loss differently as well. For us, it was, โ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐ป๐ผ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐.โ Iโll never forget those words or the moment we heard them or the heart-felt, sympathetic tone that accompanied them.
There is no heartbeat.
More than that, Iโll never forget all that baby Everest has taught me so farโabout myself, about others, about life, and about my faith in Christ.
Iโm still learning so much. How amazing it is, though, that my unborn child could teach me as much as Iโve learned!
Thereโs an interesting dance happening with deep, deep sorrow and this peace I feel. One second I canโt breathe because the loss feels so heavily painful, and the next, Iโm thinking about butter on my pancakes.
๐ ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐น๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ป ๐บ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ until I was pregnant with Everest. And now, thatโs the only way I can eat them. My heart tugs at the sight of so many things, not just butter.
There are remnants of Everest everywhereโespecially at home. But, as I sat at the kitchen table the other morning trying to process the emotions of it all, I was trying to answer. . .
โ๐๐บ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฃ๐บ ๐ช๐ด ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ญ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ______.โ
I just kept thinking about how much love I have for this baby and all the things I wanted to teach Everest.
And then my heart was flooded with how much more ๐๐ฒ๐๐๐ ๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ถ๐น๐ฑ. Baby Everest is with the mighty Teacherโthe One who loves him/her best. That kind of love is so powerful!
This doesnโt take the pain away, but it gives me hope.
Everest will never know pain or suffering of any kind. Thereโs a unique kind of beauty in that.
Itโs a very surreal place to beโdeep in the depths of the valley of grief while being covered with the kind of peace that surpasses all understanding.
So, where do ๐ฌ๐ go from here?
One of the best pieces of wisdom we have received comes from others who have walked before us. . .
โKeep talking about it with each other and with trusted friends and family.โ
Something very healing happens when people hold space for you to share your raw, unfiltered emotions.
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you! Thank you to the friends and family who have been holding space for us at all hours of the day and night! Thank you for helping us embrace Everest all the more. Thank you for your ๐๐ป๐๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ and prayers!
๐ฉ๐ Steph.
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength. . . โIsaiah 40:31
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Shared by: Stephanie Richmond 10/1/2021